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Reflecting on 2014

IMG_3309Warning: lots of rambling ahead!

This past year was quite a doozy. Whenever people ask me what I’ve been up to or how I’ve been, I tend to say something like “Oh, you know, same as usual” or “Nothing much, my life’s pretty uneventful”, but 2014 was actually pretty interesting for me.

I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, mostly because I feel like the more I tell people I’m going to do something, the less likely I am to actually do it, so I tend to try to make changes whenever I see fit throughout the year. BUT, last year, I kind of decided that I was an adult – I needed to start the process of really “growing up” and bettering myself, and I knew I needed to be less negative to achieve that. I’m a worrier, a complainer, and a tantrum-thrower, and I really wanted to try to learn to keep a cool head on my shoulders. It was a real struggle, and I don’t know how much more calm I’ve become (probably not much), but I do feel like I did several things to better myself throughout 2014.

I got engaged on Christmas Day 2013, and spent the next five months planning the wedding. It was kind of a nightmare. I learned that I absolutely hate event planning of any kind. It was even more difficult because I was living halfway across the country from where the wedding was going to be. I joked with my mom that my dream wedding was to get hitched at City Hall with only our immediate families present, then to go out for pizza and bowling. I still feel like that would have been my ideal wedding, but pressures from lots of people pushed me to go the more traditional route of having a ceremony and a reception, although I did try to simplify everything as much as humanly possible without disappointing too many people. But, as I’m sure a lot of married people can attest to, it’s very difficult not to disappoint/offend people when your ideas of what you want your wedding to be like don’t align with those of everyone involved. Still, I did get married, and even though our outdoor ceremony got rained torrential downpoured and hailed out, I couldn’t be happier to be married to my husband.

Amidst the wedding planning, I started to exercise. I downloaded the Couch to 5k app on my phone and slowly worked my way through the program, finishing it in August. Being able to run three miles, and that too without really feeling too terrible after, boosted my confidence, and I look forward to starting up again soon. I just have to pick up some cold weather gear. 🙂

Possibly the biggest thing I did for myself in 2014 was to start taking control of my health, both physical and mental. I think I went to the doctor more this past year than I have in my entire life previously. My husband has really helped me realize that doctors aren’t there just for life-threatening illnesses, and going forward, I’m going to make a point to do all the necessary check-ups throughout the year. I also made the decision to get professional help for my anxiety. I have never dealt with stress well, which has lead to some unhealthy coping strategies, so I booked an appointment with a psychologist. It helped me realize that my situation was very common, and the things I was dealing with were manageable. The appointments, along with my decision to stop taking a medication that I felt was negatively affecting my mood and other aspects of my life (and also that was not necessary for my overall health) has dramatically improved my overall attitude.

The last thing I want to mention is this blog. I love that I finally took the plunge in August to start a beauty blog. Part of me didn’t want to start one because, let’s face it, there are millions upon millions of beauty blogs these days, with more being started every single day. I didn’t expect anyone to read it at all, but I’ve had a lot of support so far, and I’m determined to keep growing my humble little corner of the internet through the next year and beyond. I’ve had a few moments of doubt. Thoughts like, “There are so many blogs out there, and the chances of my blog becoming big are slim to none, so what’s the point?” and “It bothers me that some bloggers get so much attention and free stuff, and others get no recognition at all. Part of me wants to be recognized too, but mostly I just want to freaking talk about make up without all this weird pressure!” For the first couple of months after I started this blog, I went on a buying binge so that I constantly had products to talk about, but now I’ve settled down and realized I’m buying too much. My makeup is pretty simple. I wear neutral eye shadow and I don’t really wear a bold lip too often, so why should I buy all these shadows and lipsticks I’m barely ever going to use? I want to focus more on bettering my skincare routine, my wardrobe, and my home (a year after moving in and the walls are still mostly bare. Eep!). That said, I do still adore makeup, and I want to try more products from indie brands this year.

Thanks for sticking with me through this loooonnnngggg post.

Goodbye 2014! You were great, but 2015 is going to be even better! I’d love to hear what your 2014 was like and if you have any New Year’s resolutions!

Happy Near Year, everyone!

Lots of love,

Caila

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  • Reply Syah January 1, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Caila, your story is so similar to mine! I got married in December 2013 and spent the whole year leading up to it anxiety-ridden as my wedding venue was literally 1000 miles away from where I live. I also detest event planning! And like you, wanted a more intimate casual ‘City Hall’ like hangout but didn’t want to disappoint my family.
    I’ve also been seeking professional help when it comes to managing my anxiety for the past year so that’s been helping too.
    much love to you friend xo

    • Reply Caila January 1, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      Wow, it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone! I hope that the stress of the wedding planning culminated in a wonderful wedding day (and lots of relief that it was finally over!) 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story-I hope this year gets even better for you! xo

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